Study finds 35.3% of women believe a man could have a good reason to hit his wife

In Sri Lanka, a staggering 35.3% of women believe that a man could have a good reason to hit his wife. At first glance, this might appear shocking, but when you dig deeper, it becomes clear that this belief stems not from acceptance but from a lifetime of entrapment in a society deeply rooted in patriarchy. These women are not born into submission; they are conditioned into it. This tragic reality underscores just how far Sri Lanka has to go to catch up with the progressive strides made by Western nations in achieving gender equality. This data emerges from the Women’s Wellbeing Survey – 2019.

The survey highlights that controlling behavior is one of the most common forms of partner abuse, with 19.1% of women experiencing it in their lifetime. This shows how women are conditioned to see a man’s dominance as normal, even justified. From an early age, girls in Sri Lanka are taught to obey, to serve, and to compromise. This cultural indoctrination is especially pervasive in estate areas and rural regions, where traditions hold tighter reins on people’s lives. These women live in isolation, with limited exposure to alternative ways of life, reinforcing the belief that a husband’s authority is absolute—even when it manifests as violence.

In estate areas, for example, women often endure harsh treatment from their husbands after long days of work at tea plantations. Stories of women being confined to their homes, denied access to finances, or even locked indoors by their partners are not uncommon. A 36-year-old woman from Hatton shared how her husband forbids her from visiting her parents, fearing she might discuss her plight. Such examples highlight the control and lack of autonomy faced by countless women.

Sri Lanka’s economy further entraps women, with the majority working as housewives or in low-paying jobs. A housewife’s contribution is often undervalued, seen as a duty rather than a profession deserving of respect or financial independence. Women in estate areas are frequently employed in tea plantations, earning meager wages that barely cover their basic needs. This economic dependence on their husbands leaves them with little to no power in their relationships. Many women endure abuse because leaving is simply not an option when survival itself is at stake.

Consider the case of a 32-year-old estate worker who earns less than Rs. 750 a day. She endures her husband’s physical violence because she has two children to feed and no means of leaving. Her story mirrors the lives of thousands of Sri Lankan women.

“Every day feels like a battle. I don’t have the luxury of walking away; my children need me. But every bruise, every tear, it’s like I’m losing a part of myself. I stay for them, but sometimes I wonder if it’s enough.”

Another woman, living in Nuwara Eliya, revealed how her husband locks her indoors during the day, suspecting she might interact with neighbors. This cycle of control and dependency traps women, robbing them of their dignity and freedom.

The Women’s Wellbeing Survey – 2019 also revealed that 28.9% of women who suffered partner violence were injured, with 18.7% requiring healthcare. Yet, despite the physical and emotional toll, women often stay silent. The shame of speaking out and the fear of bringing dishonor to their families silences them. Even when children are involved, with 60% of them witnessing or overhearing violence, the cycle continues because women lack the means or support to break free.

The survey’s findings also shed light on the transformative power of education. Women with higher education were less likely to justify violence. This suggests that education not only empowers women but also challenges the deeply ingrained gender norms that perpetuate abuse. Yet, in estate areas and rural parts of the country, access to quality education remains a luxury, not a right. Girls are often pulled out of school early to help with household chores or to marry young, perpetuating the cycle of dependency and submission.

When comparing Sri Lanka to Western nations, the gap in gender equality becomes painfully obvious. In many Western countries, women have made significant strides in asserting their rights, holding men accountable for abuse, and dismantling patriarchal systems. But Sri Lanka lags behind, stuck in a quagmire of outdated traditions and economic inequities. While Western women have access to legal frameworks and social movements that advocate for their rights, Sri Lankan women are still navigating a world where their voices are stifled.

This disparity, however, isn’t entirely the fault of individual men. It is a reflection of a society shaped by generations of traditions, where men and women alike are products of a rigid cultural framework. Patriarchal norms have deep roots in Sri Lanka’s history, and dismantling them requires collective effort, education, and time. It’s not about blaming men but about acknowledging how society as a whole has failed its women.

If Sri Lanka truly wishes to move forward, it must address the root causes of this crisis. Legal reforms alone will not suffice; there must be a societal shift. Education for women, financial independence, and dismantling harmful gender norms are non-negotiable steps. Estate areas and rural regions need targeted interventions to provide women with opportunities to break free from the cycle of violence and dependency.

This belief that a man could have a good reason to hit his wife is not an acceptance of violence but a cry for help. It reflects a society where women are trapped, silenced, and undervalued. Sri Lanka must do better for its women, for its daughters, and for its future.

Article written by MAF Afra (BA) Honours – SUSL, to be exclusively published on sinhalaguide.com.